You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl
“Midge Has Your Back (Stabbed) Barbie and I are the same age, give or take a couple of years, so I’ve always felt that we were kind of like soul sistahs.
Granted, she’s pretty and vapid and I’m just vapid, but we do share a love for our convertibles, and a certain bottle-blonde bond.
People who aren’t as beautiful or popular as Barbie, not to name names but Midge, have always bad-mouthed her. It’s just that ol’ green-eyed monster, if you ask me. Frankly, Barbie and I are used to that stuff.
You’...d think that now that Barbie is fifty, all that animosity would settle down a bit. But then I stumble across this letter written by that jealous Midge to Barbie on the occasion of her fiftieth birthday and I realize that things are worse than ever … .
Dear Barbie, OMG! I can’t believe you’re the big 5-0! One minute you’re pursuing your many fascinating careers and patiently ignoring snippy comments about your fabulous figure, and the next minute there you are, spending another Sadday night with Ken, watching wrasslin’ on TV and drinking that new Budweiser with the lime already in it.MoreLess
Granted, she’s pretty and vapid and I’m just vapid, but we do share a love for our convertibles, and a certain bottle-blonde bond.
People who aren’t as beautiful or popular as Barbie, not to name names but Midge, have always bad-mouthed her. It’s just that ol’ green-eyed monster, if you ask me. Frankly, Barbie and I are used to that stuff.
You’...d think that now that Barbie is fifty, all that animosity would settle down a bit. But then I stumble across this letter written by that jealous Midge to Barbie on the occasion of her fiftieth birthday and I realize that things are worse than ever … .
Dear Barbie, OMG! I can’t believe you’re the big 5-0! One minute you’re pursuing your many fascinating careers and patiently ignoring snippy comments about your fabulous figure, and the next minute there you are, spending another Sadday night with Ken, watching wrasslin’ on TV and drinking that new Budweiser with the lime already in it.MoreLess
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