Until I Love Again
“This section of the pavement didn’t go far, and Susanna waited for the moment when the deacon’s driveway came into sight. When she saw his place, the line of buggies beside the barn was still short, so Mamm had been correct—early was better this morning. Fewer people would be around to see her shame. She ought to wear a sign around her neck that read, “Yah, I have an Englisha mamm.” Maybe the shame would end sooner that way.
But on the other hand, she must not allow this bitterness a voice. Most of the community would know what had transpired last week. They would still be kind to her. She could be thankful for that. She shouldn’t blame the community for how they saw things. The world on the other side of the fence was a dangerous thing. There were reasons why no young unmarried Amish man would take her home from the hymn singing—or ever would. Englisha girls were known to leave their husbands after the wedding vows were said. Not even baptism would cleanse that fear from their minds.
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