Too Much to Lose
“She’s been silent the entire journey. I can only imagine what’s going through her mind. I don’t want to face her past, not really, so how does she feel?
“You okay?”
She offers me a quavery smile.
“Yeah.” Her hand curls over the top of mine. “This world… the porn world… my world—”
“Not anymore.”
“It’s not pleasant. It looks glamorous from the outside—the awards and the famous stars—but it’s not. For the rich, well known ones, it might be.” She shrugs. “I don’t know, but for me and for the other ...girls, it wasn’t. We were a commodity. Another body in a long line.”
“You don’t have to tell me this.”
“You might see things…” She draws in a breath. “I doubt I’ll ever forget it as hard as I try. I used to take strong painkillers, you know? So it wouldn’t hurt and to help me get through it. We all did.”
Jealousy and bitter rage curdles my stomach. How could anyone put an eighteen year old through that? I’m no angel. I’ve watched porn, but the women always looked so hot and eager for it.MoreLess
“You okay?”
She offers me a quavery smile.
“Yeah.” Her hand curls over the top of mine. “This world… the porn world… my world—”
“Not anymore.”
“It’s not pleasant. It looks glamorous from the outside—the awards and the famous stars—but it’s not. For the rich, well known ones, it might be.” She shrugs. “I don’t know, but for me and for the other ...girls, it wasn’t. We were a commodity. Another body in a long line.”
“You don’t have to tell me this.”
“You might see things…” She draws in a breath. “I doubt I’ll ever forget it as hard as I try. I used to take strong painkillers, you know? So it wouldn’t hurt and to help me get through it. We all did.”
Jealousy and bitter rage curdles my stomach. How could anyone put an eighteen year old through that? I’m no angel. I’ve watched porn, but the women always looked so hot and eager for it.MoreLess
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