The Year of Magical Thinking
“There was something else I was taught growing up in California. When someone appears to have died you find out for sure by holding a hand mirror to the mouth and nose. If there is no exhaled moisture the person is dead. My mother taught me that. I forgot it the night John died. Is he breathing, the dispatcher had asked me. Just come, I had said.
December 30, 2003.
We had seen Quintana in the sixth-floor ICU at Beth Israel North.
We had noted the numbers on the respirator.
We had held her swolle...n hand.
We still don’t know which way this is going, one of the ICU doctors had said.
We had come home. The ICU did not reopen after evening rounds until seven so it must have been past eight.
We had discussed whether to go out for dinner or eat in.
I said I would build a fire, we could eat in.
I have no memory of what we meant to eat. I do remember throwing out whatever was on the plates and in the kitchen when I came home from New York Hospital.
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.MoreLess
December 30, 2003.
We had seen Quintana in the sixth-floor ICU at Beth Israel North.
We had noted the numbers on the respirator.
We had held her swolle...n hand.
We still don’t know which way this is going, one of the ICU doctors had said.
We had come home. The ICU did not reopen after evening rounds until seven so it must have been past eight.
We had discussed whether to go out for dinner or eat in.
I said I would build a fire, we could eat in.
I have no memory of what we meant to eat. I do remember throwing out whatever was on the plates and in the kitchen when I came home from New York Hospital.
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.MoreLess
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