The Stardust Lounge (2001)
The Stardust Lounge
“Baba Yaga does not welcome the initiate who has come to ask her help: The fire has gone out at home. Could she please borrow some fire? No, answers Baba Yaga, not until Vasalisa has completed a number of difficult tasks.
The story I read to Stephen many times when he was small comes back to me. Now, like Vasalisa, I'm at work in the first initiations, coming to grips with the fact that I must not look to Stephen to change, but to myself. The fire has gone out at home. Much is in question, here ...at the eleventh hour. I find myself relearning things. Under siege I forgot them.
Along with Stephen's troubles, my sense of failure at the prospect of a second divorce undid me for a while. I lost the way. Through last winter, as the dog and I maneuvered filthy, ice-crusted snow, I wept at the idea of myself as “a woman alone,” as my own mother called it; a woman without a man in her life. Though I understood the irony the fact that both of my marriages were to men who were for the most part absent, I hadn't grasped how tied I was to the idea of a husband.MoreLess
The story I read to Stephen many times when he was small comes back to me. Now, like Vasalisa, I'm at work in the first initiations, coming to grips with the fact that I must not look to Stephen to change, but to myself. The fire has gone out at home. Much is in question, here ...at the eleventh hour. I find myself relearning things. Under siege I forgot them.
Along with Stephen's troubles, my sense of failure at the prospect of a second divorce undid me for a while. I lost the way. Through last winter, as the dog and I maneuvered filthy, ice-crusted snow, I wept at the idea of myself as “a woman alone,” as my own mother called it; a woman without a man in her life. Though I understood the irony the fact that both of my marriages were to men who were for the most part absent, I hadn't grasped how tied I was to the idea of a husband.MoreLess
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