The Satanic Mechanic
“There were big smudges of cloud, preparing for a colourful sunset. The kudu was standing next to Ousies again; they both looked into the fire.
I opened my mouth; I thought I was going to talk about the kudu that I kept seeing, but instead I found myself saying, ‘It’s the taste of him in my mouth. His face is so close, his breath ugly and sour, like a rotten potato. And then the weight of him on my body . . .’ I felt nauseous just talking about it. ‘He is on me . . . inside me and I want him out.... I want to vomit. It’s the taste of him I want to throw up. But also the taste of my own shame.’ I didn’t want to see the faces of the people around me. I was afraid I would see disgust. Or pity. I looked down at my lap, where I was clutching my Tupperware of cheesecake. I needed cheesecake; I wanted its lemony sweet flavour and smooth texture in my mouth.
‘Shall we have some cheesecake now?’ I said, looking at Ricus.
His expression was not disgust or pity. It was a kind look that made me want to cry.MoreLess
I opened my mouth; I thought I was going to talk about the kudu that I kept seeing, but instead I found myself saying, ‘It’s the taste of him in my mouth. His face is so close, his breath ugly and sour, like a rotten potato. And then the weight of him on my body . . .’ I felt nauseous just talking about it. ‘He is on me . . . inside me and I want him out.... I want to vomit. It’s the taste of him I want to throw up. But also the taste of my own shame.’ I didn’t want to see the faces of the people around me. I was afraid I would see disgust. Or pity. I looked down at my lap, where I was clutching my Tupperware of cheesecake. I needed cheesecake; I wanted its lemony sweet flavour and smooth texture in my mouth.
‘Shall we have some cheesecake now?’ I said, looking at Ricus.
His expression was not disgust or pity. It was a kind look that made me want to cry.MoreLess
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