The Puppet Masters
“Experience first—language second. How can I tell how I felt?
I saw things around me with a curious double vision, as if I stared at them through rippling water—yet I felt no surprise and no curiosity about this. I moved like a sleepwalker, unaware of what I was about to do—but I was wide-awake, fully aware of who I was, where I was, what my job at the Section had been. There was no amnesia; my full memories were available to me at any moment. And, although I did not know what I was about to... do, I was always aware of what I was doing and sure that each act was the necessary, purposeful act at that moment.
They say that post-hypnotic commands work something like that. I don’t know; I am a poor hypnotic subject.
I felt no particular emotion most of the time, except the mild contentment that comes from being at work which needs to be done. That was up on the conscious level—and, I repeat, I was fully awake. Someplace, more levels down than I understand about, I was excruciatingly unhappy, terrified, and filled with guilt—but that was down, ’way down, locked, suppressed; I was hardly aware of it and in no practical way affected by it.MoreLess
I saw things around me with a curious double vision, as if I stared at them through rippling water—yet I felt no surprise and no curiosity about this. I moved like a sleepwalker, unaware of what I was about to do—but I was wide-awake, fully aware of who I was, where I was, what my job at the Section had been. There was no amnesia; my full memories were available to me at any moment. And, although I did not know what I was about to... do, I was always aware of what I was doing and sure that each act was the necessary, purposeful act at that moment.
They say that post-hypnotic commands work something like that. I don’t know; I am a poor hypnotic subject.
I felt no particular emotion most of the time, except the mild contentment that comes from being at work which needs to be done. That was up on the conscious level—and, I repeat, I was fully awake. Someplace, more levels down than I understand about, I was excruciatingly unhappy, terrified, and filled with guilt—but that was down, ’way down, locked, suppressed; I was hardly aware of it and in no practical way affected by it.MoreLess
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