“THURSDAY, NINE IN THE EVENING My dear darling, Everyone has left. I am alone, all alone in this vast, silent house until midnight. The street is dark, with just a small light over there breaking through the darkness. A small light I know so well, one that makes my heart leap in my breast. It is perched right up on high and I cannot take my eyes off it. You cannot imagine the full extent of the joy—and the sadness too—to be had from staring at that little light. Joy, yes of course, because of th...is thought: “He is there, beneath that light, there so close by. If I cried his name wildly into the steady darkness, he would hear me.” But an appalling, cruel sadness immediately constricts my heart: “Yes, he is there but he is not alone. What words are being said to him right now? How does he look at the woman saying them? And later, later when this little light goes out, what will he do with her?” Oh, Charles, my one and only, my great love, can you ever know how obsessed I am by such thoughts?MoreLessRead More Read Less
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