The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide
“He claims he’s over her, but how can you be sure he’s telling the truth? Here are some surefire signs she still lights his torch: Sign #1: For some reason, he’s forgotten to erase her telephone number from his cell phone. Worse yet, when you erase it, somehow it miraculously reappears. Solution: Buy him a new cell phone, because this one is obviously broken.
Sign #2: When he goes out for a drive, his GPS tracker shows he’s been by her place. When you confront him with this, he gets angry and i...nsists you’re crazy.
Solution: Replace the GPS tracker.
Sign #3: Sometimes he doesn’t come home at night. When this happens, he claims he’s having car trouble.
Solution: Buy him a new car.
Sign #4: His unconscious doodles look an awful lot like her name, with the word “Mrs.” in front, and his surname behind it. When you point this out to him, he claims you’re seeing things.
Solution: Buy new glasses.
Sign #5: When the two of you make love, the name he shouts out is hers. When you point this out to him, he breaks down and admits you’re right.MoreLess
Sign #2: When he goes out for a drive, his GPS tracker shows he’s been by her place. When you confront him with this, he gets angry and i...nsists you’re crazy.
Solution: Replace the GPS tracker.
Sign #3: Sometimes he doesn’t come home at night. When this happens, he claims he’s having car trouble.
Solution: Buy him a new car.
Sign #4: His unconscious doodles look an awful lot like her name, with the word “Mrs.” in front, and his surname behind it. When you point this out to him, he claims you’re seeing things.
Solution: Buy new glasses.
Sign #5: When the two of you make love, the name he shouts out is hers. When you point this out to him, he breaks down and admits you’re right.MoreLess
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