The Girl in the Comfortable Quiet
“The shaking of my hands makes them useless and I can’t manage to squeeze my fingers around the handle.
The tears pour faster, clouding my vision and clogging my throat. I’m going to faint if I don’t pull air into my lungs soon, but the second I suck in oxygen my emotions push it out.
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t feel.
My weak legs give way and I sink to the ground beside my Range Rover. I’m hyperventilating and I know that the concrete beneath me is cold, but I can’t feel that either.... I can’t feel anything. My body is nothing but a loosely joined collection of deadened cells, and even the front drive, brilliant with lights, has a strange surreality to it, surrounded by darkness that swallows all detail and shape.
I bury my face in my hands, blocking out the world around me and wishing I could die right here. I fight to pull myself together, but it’s my thoughts that join instead. I left the house with a series of devastating truths, I don’t want to acknowledge them, but there is one I can’t push away.MoreLess
The tears pour faster, clouding my vision and clogging my throat. I’m going to faint if I don’t pull air into my lungs soon, but the second I suck in oxygen my emotions push it out.
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t feel.
My weak legs give way and I sink to the ground beside my Range Rover. I’m hyperventilating and I know that the concrete beneath me is cold, but I can’t feel that either.... I can’t feel anything. My body is nothing but a loosely joined collection of deadened cells, and even the front drive, brilliant with lights, has a strange surreality to it, surrounded by darkness that swallows all detail and shape.
I bury my face in my hands, blocking out the world around me and wishing I could die right here. I fight to pull myself together, but it’s my thoughts that join instead. I left the house with a series of devastating truths, I don’t want to acknowledge them, but there is one I can’t push away.MoreLess
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