“When I check my bank account, I discover a long list of charges not made by me.“I can promise you,” I tell the very snide operator on the phone. “I didn’t spend two hundred and seven bucks at Gary’s Extravagant and Extraordinary Sex Toy Adult Shop.”“I understand your frustration ma’am,” she replies in a dry tone. “And, like I said earlier, we’re looking into it, but it might take seven to ten days to process a refund.”“I don’t have seven to ten days,” I huff out in frustration, tossing the stat...ement onto the table. “This is such bullshit. I mean, what does extravagant and extraordinary even mean? Does it sell extra long vibrators with fur on them or something? Because that’s just creepy and very unpractical.”The line grows awkwardly quiet.Okay, okay. I might have gone a little too far with the whole furry, extra-long vibrator remark, but when I get too frazzled, I sometimes speak without thinking first. My mom calls it the curse of being an Ashford woman.“Your dad’s mom once told me about her sex life and all the positions your grandpa and her used to do,”MoreLessRead More Read Less
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