The Break-Up Psychic
“The noise makes my heart bang against my chest. What if it’s Tim calling to beg my forgiveness? Do I agree to meet him? Should I price out a castration kit before doing so? The cell phone feels heavy in my hand as I press the voicemail command.
“You have one new voice message.”
Dear God, if you’re there and you’re not too busy with, you know, handing out miracles and such, can you please make this message be from my ex? Also, could you maybe set a plague upon him? Nothing too serious, m...aybe just a herd of flesh-eating locusts?
“Press one to listen to your messages.”
I know it’s just a voicemail, but my finger feels heavy as I press the 1 on the keypad and lift the phone to my ear.
“Ellie, it’s your mother. I have some very exciting news – call me!”
I let out a sigh of relief, and tap the number 7 on my phone to delete the message; I’ll call her back later.MoreLess
“You have one new voice message.”
Dear God, if you’re there and you’re not too busy with, you know, handing out miracles and such, can you please make this message be from my ex? Also, could you maybe set a plague upon him? Nothing too serious, m...aybe just a herd of flesh-eating locusts?
“Press one to listen to your messages.”
I know it’s just a voicemail, but my finger feels heavy as I press the 1 on the keypad and lift the phone to my ear.
“Ellie, it’s your mother. I have some very exciting news – call me!”
I let out a sigh of relief, and tap the number 7 on my phone to delete the message; I’ll call her back later.MoreLess
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