“You don’t raise your hand, choke down cafeteria food, ignore the stares just as intently as you ignore the empty locker next to yours that you know has Chris’s goofy senior picture taped to the inner door, nestled inside an equally goofy lipstick heart; you don’t smile weakly and then sneak off to the nearest bathroom stall to cry every time you overhear someone whispering about your boyfriend, the psycho killer.You turn it off.You let yourself go cold and numb, and it’s easy, like rolling down...hill, like falling out a window, because numbness is all your body really wants, and, given leave, gravity will take its course.The thing is, no one noticed. I was simultaneously infamous and invisible. Chris and Adriane were the hometown heroes, the golden couple, repository of innumerable yearbook superlatives and hallway-PDA citations. Whereas I, after all this time, was still the new girl, imported under shady circumstances. It had never bothered me. The four of us had been a self-contained unit, with our own stories, our own bad habits—practically, when you considered all the inside jokes and references and things that didn’t need to be said, our own language.MoreLessRead More Read Less
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