The Album: book One
“My extensive training back at Camp Lejeune prepared me for every type of combat, but what my training officer failed to mention is how difficult it would be to keep quiet and focused on my very first mission. I’m anxious and a little nervous, but I’m also smiling like a dumbass.
I shiver in the corner, trying to perfect a realistic smoke stack with my hot breath, and think about my training officer – good ol’ Captain Blowhole. He was always yelling at me for being too tall and goofy and relied heavily on nonsensical name-calling like: sausage gobbler, pencil dick, fanny fucker and my personal favorite, homo-retard. How could I not laugh? But I bet that pompous prick would be impressed with the stealth-like tactics I pulled off tonight. Sneaking in here without being detected by any guards or civilians – maybe Lt. Pussy Parker would be more of an asset doing covert operations instead of reorganizing the unit’s pharmaceutical distribution like a Navy geek.
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