Summer Loving
“I’m still crying and sniffing. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I take my swimming costume off and throw it at the wall. I go into the bathroom and run a bath, swishing some purple bubble bath stuff under the tap. I go to the minibar and get out two small bottles of scotch and pour them into one of the glass tumblers from the bathroom. I drink it down in one. It burns, but I feel slightly better for having done it.
I feel angry, upset, useless and stupid. I’ve just made the most awf...ul fool of myself. How could I have done that to him? He must think I’m totally crazy or a real bitch - or both. My breathing is reaching the hyperventilating state again. I get into the bath while it’s still running and lie down, staring at the ceiling. Christ, have I been bottling all that up for almost a decade? Am I really that unhappy? Is my life as screwed as I said it was?
And what I said was true. All of it. Even the bit about thinking about Kirstan as soon as I wake up.MoreLess
I feel angry, upset, useless and stupid. I’ve just made the most awf...ul fool of myself. How could I have done that to him? He must think I’m totally crazy or a real bitch - or both. My breathing is reaching the hyperventilating state again. I get into the bath while it’s still running and lie down, staring at the ceiling. Christ, have I been bottling all that up for almost a decade? Am I really that unhappy? Is my life as screwed as I said it was?
And what I said was true. All of it. Even the bit about thinking about Kirstan as soon as I wake up.MoreLess
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