Stranded (2014)
“Even supposing I could bullshit my way round an application form, how the fuck do I blag my way through an interview, when the only experience I’ve got of interviews, I’ve always had a brief sitting next to me reminding the thickhead dickheads on the other side of the table that I’m not obliged to answer? I mean, it’s not a technique that’s going to score points with the personnel manager, is it?
You can imagine it, can’t you? ‘Mr Finnieston, your application form was a little vague as to d...ates. Can you give us a more accurate picture of your career structure to date?’ Well, yeah. I started out with burglary when I was eight. My two older brothers figured I was little enough to get in toilet windows, so they taught me how to hold the glass firm with rubber suckers then cut round the edge with a glass cutter. I’d take out the window and pass it down to them, slide in through the gap and open the back door for them. Then they’d clean out the telly, the video and the stereo while I kept watch out the back.MoreLess
You can imagine it, can’t you? ‘Mr Finnieston, your application form was a little vague as to d...ates. Can you give us a more accurate picture of your career structure to date?’ Well, yeah. I started out with burglary when I was eight. My two older brothers figured I was little enough to get in toilet windows, so they taught me how to hold the glass firm with rubber suckers then cut round the edge with a glass cutter. I’d take out the window and pass it down to them, slide in through the gap and open the back door for them. Then they’d clean out the telly, the video and the stereo while I kept watch out the back.MoreLess
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