“I’m sorry, but that’s what you’re doing.” She tried to fight this surging anger. “No, you’re right. It’s always this way. After all the promises and all the best intentions and fighting it off minute by minute, day after day, the same thing happens. It starts feeling like I’m banging my head against the wall. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t put anything together. I get just so far, and this voice starts in my head. ‘S-O-S. S-O-S. Same old shit. Same old shit.’ It’s this twisted cynicism.... Me that can’t believe me. I get up early. I shave and get dressed, and I say, Okay, this is the day. Today you’re going to find a job. You’re going to call your wife and kids. You’re going to get things straight for once. And then the voice starts. ‘Oh yah, yah, yah. Same old shit.’ And that’s about as fucking far as it gets.” He gave a bitter laugh. “Me standing in front of the door, all dressed up and shaved, trying to work up enough courage to turn the knob.”MoreLessRead More Read Less
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