Some Assembly Required (2012)
“Bill says no, that this will count against me, but he stops to chat with them in his most animated Paul Lynde way. There are sadhus everywhere, wandering holy men wrapped in ragged warm blankets, sitting before tiny fires, smiling from deep within. The smells of spices, incense, humanity, cooking, marijuana hang in the air.
We got into an auto-rickshaw. Bill bargained Driver-ji down, while I wanted to pay him way more than he asked, plus give him my socks and shawl. Bill talked to the driver in Hindi, and then indicated me with a wave and a flourish: “This is my former wife,” he said in English, “and we are on our friendship tour.” This turned out to be his major coping strategy in India. Everywhere we went, he bantered with drivers, waiters, beggars, almost always sharing some miserable aspect of our imaginary marriage: that I was cheap, or wouldn’t put out, or had taken him to the cleaners when we broke up. And I laughed every time, so I guess it was my coping strategy, too.
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