Shadow Dancers
“Don’t be scared. Not in the bad old way, but in the way it was (or in the way I used to think it was) before all that … business. I regret it now. My memory of things is shot. Today, for a change, it’s okay, and I see your face … actually see it. But only when I say your name. Will you believe there are days when I can’t get your face into my head? Try as I may to dredge it up … use tricks like imagining you the way you looked at certain times, all I can manage is a land of fuzzy outline, all runny and plugged with light, like a photo over-exposed.
My life is still pretty much the same. I drive around all day and sometimes all night. I eat in the car and sleep in it. I let it take me where it wants. Sometimes we go for hours, up and down the state. All the way to the border on up into Canada. We cruise around up there a bit, then turn back.
We play a game together, Mother and me, in which I try to guess where she’s taking me while she tries to keep from me our destination.
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