Selby Santa (2007)
“‘What is she talking about?’ Selby thought. ‘What’s this about past elections and presents?’ ‘I beg your pardon?’ Dr Trifle said. ‘What language are you speaking?’ ‘I was speaking English, of course. I was asking you if you wanted a snack.’ ‘Then why didn’t you say it like that?’ ‘Because I wanted to use some of those big words that aren’t used very often.’ ‘Why not use little words that we use all the time? Then I’d understand what you are saying?’ ‘For two reasons,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘The firs...t is that I think we should increase our vocabularies.’ ‘You mean learn more words?’ ‘Precisely.’ ‘What’s the second reason?’ ‘The second reason is Ralph.’ ‘Is that a reason or a person?’ ‘He’s both. His full name is Professor Raphael Bagsby-Gormless. He’s a cousin of mine who I haven’t seen since we were children. Ralph’s an expert on the English language and he’ll be here next month. I thought, wouldn’t it be embarrassing if we didn’t understand a word he was saying?MoreLess
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