S. (2012)
“I think my moan drowned out the click in the drawer, but I heard it. I really probably should erase that side, but I have this feeling about it that it’s bigger than I am somehow, that my personal modesty is totally unimportant and it wasn’t me in any case but a kind of goddess actually and that what really is important is the Arhat’s voice on tape, his fantastic capacity for love. I don’t know how he held it but it stayed just as hard as a rock, only of course smooth—a jewel just like they say.... He was the jewel and I was the lotus. It felt just like that, on and on into eternity. And it wasn’t just that once, I’ve been with him a few times since. I’m not sure, though, you should play the tape for Irving and the other girls—only if you think they can take it in the yogic spirit and not as just titillation and gossip. It mustn’t get back to Charles. I’ll leave it up to you, I’ve been away so long now I can’t be the judge of anybody’s spiritual progress and maturity.MoreLess
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