Rough Cider
“Features obscured in folds of blotchy flesh. Wisps of colorless hair for eyebrows. As so often in fat men, the voice was the compensating factor, fruity as wedding cake, sonorous, confident, with a saving hint of self-mockery.
“What a salubrious place to live, sir.” A quick revelation of baldness under the hat. “Digby Watmore, News on Sunday, and before you mention it, not in the least surprised that you never read the offensive rag.”
I shook my head. “There’s a mistake, I think.”
The creases f...ormed a pattern of excessive concern. “Mistakes by the million, sir, I’m the first to concede. But the blame lies with the typesetters, not the reporters. It pains me to see how they multilate my copy, and I speak as a man who can spell diarrhea without the aid of a dictionary.” He waited solemnly for me to react, his small, opaque eyes locked with mine.
Trying to sound tolerant, I said, “Do me a favor. Try somewhere else, will you?”
He didn’t budge. He looked past me and raised the hat again.MoreLess
“What a salubrious place to live, sir.” A quick revelation of baldness under the hat. “Digby Watmore, News on Sunday, and before you mention it, not in the least surprised that you never read the offensive rag.”
I shook my head. “There’s a mistake, I think.”
The creases f...ormed a pattern of excessive concern. “Mistakes by the million, sir, I’m the first to concede. But the blame lies with the typesetters, not the reporters. It pains me to see how they multilate my copy, and I speak as a man who can spell diarrhea without the aid of a dictionary.” He waited solemnly for me to react, his small, opaque eyes locked with mine.
Trying to sound tolerant, I said, “Do me a favor. Try somewhere else, will you?”
He didn’t budge. He looked past me and raised the hat again.MoreLess
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