Ripple
“I thought I had everything under control this year. My entire plan rested solely on one thing: solitude. If no one is close to me, no one gets hurt, not even me. If I don’t get wrapped up in other people’s lives, no one is in danger.
And, yeah, maybe part of it is about punishing myself. I killed a boy who didn’t deserve it, and I will pay for it. Forever. I just have to make it through high school. Then I can move on to college, leave this town, and go somewhere where people don’t know me, don...’t look at me with accusation in their eyes. I won’t make friends with anyone. I’ll forever be alone, but that’s what I deserve.
I sigh as reality hits me. There are so many holes in my plan—it’s as if I wrote it all down on Swiss cheese. I can’t leave my grandmother, not with her health failing. I can’t afford to pay for classes. I can’t move away from my hidden lake. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. But the mirage in the distance—the idea of a world where my troubles disappear—is all that I cling to these days, because reality is getting harder and harder to handle.MoreLess
And, yeah, maybe part of it is about punishing myself. I killed a boy who didn’t deserve it, and I will pay for it. Forever. I just have to make it through high school. Then I can move on to college, leave this town, and go somewhere where people don’t know me, don...’t look at me with accusation in their eyes. I won’t make friends with anyone. I’ll forever be alone, but that’s what I deserve.
I sigh as reality hits me. There are so many holes in my plan—it’s as if I wrote it all down on Swiss cheese. I can’t leave my grandmother, not with her health failing. I can’t afford to pay for classes. I can’t move away from my hidden lake. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. But the mirage in the distance—the idea of a world where my troubles disappear—is all that I cling to these days, because reality is getting harder and harder to handle.MoreLess
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