Rear-View Mirrors (1986)
“I look behind me, circle back, stop beside it, and get off my bike.
I crouch. There are ants all over its head. It’s some kind of warbler. Or maybe a vireo. I’m no expert on birds, though I have progressed beyond my mother, who stopped at whippoorwills. Last fall I bought myself a bird book. And fell into the habit of taking a feather from those I find dead—which I do right now, carefully pulling one out from the tail. I hold it up. It’s brown, edged with white. I thread it through the fron...t of my cap. And at once I feel as if my hands aren’t my own, as if someone else has willed this deed, and realize I’m taking part in a practice as old as mankind itself: identifying myself with an animal, in this case by wearing one of its feathers, hoping by doing so to acquire its characteristics, in this case swiftness.
I put on my cap and continue pedaling, unable to detect any gain in speed deriving from the feather. On the contrary, the new black pavement abruptly turns old and horrendously bumpy, slowing me down considerably.MoreLess
I crouch. There are ants all over its head. It’s some kind of warbler. Or maybe a vireo. I’m no expert on birds, though I have progressed beyond my mother, who stopped at whippoorwills. Last fall I bought myself a bird book. And fell into the habit of taking a feather from those I find dead—which I do right now, carefully pulling one out from the tail. I hold it up. It’s brown, edged with white. I thread it through the fron...t of my cap. And at once I feel as if my hands aren’t my own, as if someone else has willed this deed, and realize I’m taking part in a practice as old as mankind itself: identifying myself with an animal, in this case by wearing one of its feathers, hoping by doing so to acquire its characteristics, in this case swiftness.
I put on my cap and continue pedaling, unable to detect any gain in speed deriving from the feather. On the contrary, the new black pavement abruptly turns old and horrendously bumpy, slowing me down considerably.MoreLess
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