Pushing Her Buttons
“I spent a lot of time thinking about Marcus and our marriage and all my interactions with JR. About how he filled me—and not just with his body. I wasn’t happy about the way he’d wooed me into his bed but I had enjoyed it. Most of it.
But “enjoy” was a pale word for what he made me feel. When I was with him, it was like a switch had been flipped and a sudden warm light flooded every corner of my soul. I was happy in his arms. Happy in my skin.
How could it be that as a single woman—free as a bi...rd—I felt more caged than if I were bound in rope and curled at his feet?
But it wasn’t only the spankings and the devious domination I craved. With JR it went far beyond that.
I ached for him. His scent, his taste, his touch.
When I compared the way he made me feel to the grimy, lackluster existence I’d been tolerating for the past few years, I wanted to weep. I didn’t want to live that way for the rest of my life—just trailing my fingers on the surface—but that’s what my fear of ending up with another man like Marcus was driving me toward.MoreLess
But “enjoy” was a pale word for what he made me feel. When I was with him, it was like a switch had been flipped and a sudden warm light flooded every corner of my soul. I was happy in his arms. Happy in my skin.
How could it be that as a single woman—free as a bi...rd—I felt more caged than if I were bound in rope and curled at his feet?
But it wasn’t only the spankings and the devious domination I craved. With JR it went far beyond that.
I ached for him. His scent, his taste, his touch.
When I compared the way he made me feel to the grimy, lackluster existence I’d been tolerating for the past few years, I wanted to weep. I didn’t want to live that way for the rest of my life—just trailing my fingers on the surface—but that’s what my fear of ending up with another man like Marcus was driving me toward.MoreLess
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