Not Yet
“I’d done what was asked of me. I had a full ride to his alma mater to play football, just like he did. The goal that was set for me—that he set for me—from the time I could walk, was achieved. I would have thought that accomplishment alone would lessen the pain rumbling around inside.
But it didn’t.
I missed her. I missed her wit and sarcasm, making even the most boring economics concepts bearable, and even interesting. I missed being her friend. Over the summer, I fell in love with her—no doub...t about it. The love and the desire I felt for her outweighed everything else. I’d gone almost a whole school year as only ‘friends.’ The need for her in my life was unquestionable.
I needed her love and her touch, but if I couldn’t have that, if I had nothing else—I had to be her friend. And then that was taken away too.
No one understood. No one could possibly grasp how this all felt to me. Not even Emma. I was changing. Acting like the man I wanted to be, finally. For the first time in my life, I was treating everyone I met with respect.MoreLess
But it didn’t.
I missed her. I missed her wit and sarcasm, making even the most boring economics concepts bearable, and even interesting. I missed being her friend. Over the summer, I fell in love with her—no doub...t about it. The love and the desire I felt for her outweighed everything else. I’d gone almost a whole school year as only ‘friends.’ The need for her in my life was unquestionable.
I needed her love and her touch, but if I couldn’t have that, if I had nothing else—I had to be her friend. And then that was taken away too.
No one understood. No one could possibly grasp how this all felt to me. Not even Emma. I was changing. Acting like the man I wanted to be, finally. For the first time in my life, I was treating everyone I met with respect.MoreLess
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