Never Say Never
“I should be in bed, tucked in, catching up on the sleep I didn’t get last night. Or this morning. I dozed on the plane but never fell into a deep sleep.I miss Haley, and being alone in my house is unnerving. I miss the Montana farmhouse, the tight fit in our sleeping arrangements.I miss her.She is worried coming back here will remind me of the life I used to love so much, but she is wrong. It reminds me how fucked up this life it, how all of Hollywood is. It stirs the darkness and it creeps up ...and takes a hold of me.I should be sleeping, but I’m sitting at a private table in a bar with several cast mates from Shadowland. The place is packed and loud, the smell of body odor and perfume mixed with bleach and alcohol. It’s one of the hottest places in L.A., and fucking hard to get into. Unless you’re me, that is.I down my third shot of Scotch and feel my mind unwind, yet the more I drink, the harder it is to hold back the darkness. It’s a battle, and for a brief moment the darkness wins.MoreLess
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