Near & Far
“It might have been years since I’d lost my grip on reality, but I’d never forget the way it felt. Feeling like I was holding on by my fingertips, then just barely by my nails, before falling. I fell for so long, I lost track of how long I’d been lost. It was an inexplicable feeling, and the only thing I was more sure of than I broke was my desire to never experience it again.Given I’d been certain that part of my life was long behind me, but it had managed to creep up and surprise me, I wasn’t ...confident it wouldn’t happen again. That was paralyzing. I knew the person I’d been before all of it started, how strong and sure I’d been, and it took all of a month to revert back to the boy I’d been years ago.I knew control was an illusion. I’d known that for a long time. However, I also knew control was an illusion I could manipulate. I’d been manipulating it for over a decade. I might not have been able to control the people, circumstances, and environment around me, but I could control myself.MoreLess
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