My Soon-to-Be Sex Life (2014)
“Their backs were to me, bowed heads covered in a dusting of snow. Monty was decked out in his down-filled parka and Mona, poor thing, wore a tartan green doggie sweater.
Any anger I’d been nursing since the coffee debacle that morning faded away as I grew concerned. What the hell were they doing? Puzzled, I hung back, watching as Monty travelled the same four feet, back and fourth, over and over. Mona did too, curling one and then another paw up to her substantial belly, in an it’s-so-cold-I’ll...-be-gimped-for-life dance beside her master.
My heart had begun to beat in panicked thumps. M&M were acting weirder than usual. Unpredictable weird. Scary weird.
To put it in perspective - Monty’s idea of walking Mona was to drive to the grocery store parking lot early on Sunday mornings, boot her out of the car and coast alongside her as she took her constitutional. Mr. Outdoorsy he was not. Neither was Mona. In this weather her sashays around the lot consisted of a five-second squat to pee before hopping back in the passenger seat.MoreLess
Any anger I’d been nursing since the coffee debacle that morning faded away as I grew concerned. What the hell were they doing? Puzzled, I hung back, watching as Monty travelled the same four feet, back and fourth, over and over. Mona did too, curling one and then another paw up to her substantial belly, in an it’s-so-cold-I’ll...-be-gimped-for-life dance beside her master.
My heart had begun to beat in panicked thumps. M&M were acting weirder than usual. Unpredictable weird. Scary weird.
To put it in perspective - Monty’s idea of walking Mona was to drive to the grocery store parking lot early on Sunday mornings, boot her out of the car and coast alongside her as she took her constitutional. Mr. Outdoorsy he was not. Neither was Mona. In this weather her sashays around the lot consisted of a five-second squat to pee before hopping back in the passenger seat.MoreLess
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