Men From the Boys
“I had told myself that it was because of the way he had treated my wife when she was his wife.
And I had told myself that it was because he had been a haphazard parent to Peggy, breezing in and out of her life as the mood took him.
But I saw now that my abiding loathing for Jim Mason was not quite so noble.
Because most of all I had hated him for loving her when her world was uncomplicated, unbroken and new. For loving her first, and for being loved by her in return – that’s why I hated his gut...s.
Because she had loved him in a complete world. She was trying again with me. That’s all. Trying again. She had always been trying again with me. I knew that now.
But as I watched his face in close-up on the monitor, I was shocked to discover that the old hatred just wasn’t there any more. It would have been good to think that I was all grown-up now, and beyond sexual jealousy and romantic envy. But I suspected it was just that I no longer cared so much. And that felt like the saddest thing in the world.MoreLess
And I had told myself that it was because he had been a haphazard parent to Peggy, breezing in and out of her life as the mood took him.
But I saw now that my abiding loathing for Jim Mason was not quite so noble.
Because most of all I had hated him for loving her when her world was uncomplicated, unbroken and new. For loving her first, and for being loved by her in return – that’s why I hated his gut...s.
Because she had loved him in a complete world. She was trying again with me. That’s all. Trying again. She had always been trying again with me. I knew that now.
But as I watched his face in close-up on the monitor, I was shocked to discover that the old hatred just wasn’t there any more. It would have been good to think that I was all grown-up now, and beyond sexual jealousy and romantic envy. But I suspected it was just that I no longer cared so much. And that felt like the saddest thing in the world.MoreLess
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