Loving Hart
““I love you Spencer, and I always will, but I can’t handle you. Apparently, I can’t handle anything right now. I’m exhausted and I feel like shit. I guess I just need to wrap my mind around the fact that my life isn’t going to turn out the way I’d always hoped that it would. I’m sure that once I can manage to do that, I’ll start to feel more human. Until then, seeing you only hurts me more. I’m sorry, but it’s true.”
I took that badly, even though I told her I’d honor her wishes. It wa...s like a knife in the gut to hear her say those words. A part of me wished that I could just give her what she wants, but I would never take a chance like that with a child’s life. I don’t have the paternal gene, and that’s that.
Of course there’s no one I can talk to about this. Normally, by now, Damien would have noticed that my shit is way off, but he’s so wrapped up in Brooke that I don’t think he notices much else. I can’t say I blame him. His happily ever after is unfurling in front of him, and I don’t begrudge him that. How can I when he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him? He and Dante both are like new men, completely wrapped up in the loves of their lives.MoreLess
I took that badly, even though I told her I’d honor her wishes. It wa...s like a knife in the gut to hear her say those words. A part of me wished that I could just give her what she wants, but I would never take a chance like that with a child’s life. I don’t have the paternal gene, and that’s that.
Of course there’s no one I can talk to about this. Normally, by now, Damien would have noticed that my shit is way off, but he’s so wrapped up in Brooke that I don’t think he notices much else. I can’t say I blame him. His happily ever after is unfurling in front of him, and I don’t begrudge him that. How can I when he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him? He and Dante both are like new men, completely wrapped up in the loves of their lives.MoreLess
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