“Thousands of pounds have been spent to fly me, my wife and my daughter to the Maldives. I should be enjoying every single second of it. The island is gorgeous, the service is tremendous, the facilities are top notch, and the alcohol is free. So why am I sat eating breakfast on our final day here, with a nervous twitch in one eye, rapidly rising blood pressure, and a tension headache forming behind both temples? I'll tell you bloody why: I want that fucking pedalo. Yes, you heard me right. I am ...a twitching ball of nervous tension because of a giant plastic boat with pedals. The kind you get on boating lakes across the United Kingdom, beloved of ice cream wielding children and cackling grannies alike. The whole idea for a holiday started to ferment in both our minds the night of that horrible book launch fiasco at Watermill Publishing. In fact, the very next day I was on the iPad looking at likely destinations via the magical gateway to all things holiday related - Expedia. Given that I'm still not used to having a fair amount of disposable income, I start small.MoreLessRead More Read Less
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