Love And Other Natural Disasters
“This time, my pregnancy hadn't been the result of a broken condom but a well-Orchestrated series of efforts. This time, Jon and I had known what we were getting into, and we both wanted it.
We wanted her.
But when I was twenty-four, before Laney was a twinkle in Jon's eye, we were living together in a railroad apartment in San Francisco and my normally clock-Work period was a week late. Jon and I bought the pregnancy test at night, but it said morning urine was best, so we decided to wait, "do ...this thing right," as Jon put it. He wanted to talk that night about babies and families and options, but I said I couldn't do it. See, Jon always thought he'd have a family, but I never did. It sounds so melodramatic—remember, I was twenty-four—but I just never thought I was worthy of one. I wouldn't have admitted that. I told myself I didn't want a conventional life, I had too many wild ideas and dreams, but hindSight tells me what I didn't want to see: I didn't think I was capable, or deserving.MoreLess
We wanted her.
But when I was twenty-four, before Laney was a twinkle in Jon's eye, we were living together in a railroad apartment in San Francisco and my normally clock-Work period was a week late. Jon and I bought the pregnancy test at night, but it said morning urine was best, so we decided to wait, "do ...this thing right," as Jon put it. He wanted to talk that night about babies and families and options, but I said I couldn't do it. See, Jon always thought he'd have a family, but I never did. It sounds so melodramatic—remember, I was twenty-four—but I just never thought I was worthy of one. I wouldn't have admitted that. I told myself I didn't want a conventional life, I had too many wild ideas and dreams, but hindSight tells me what I didn't want to see: I didn't think I was capable, or deserving.MoreLess
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