Life of the Party: Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child
“OOPS: A Love Story The first time I ever felt up a girl was in seventh-grade study hall, in front of three other classmates, two of whom were girls. It was Truth or Dare, and I was dared to feel up Gwen Cohen. She giggled, I giggled, and the others looked at me as if I were a god holding a golden tit. I walked out of that classroom a man. A few minutes later I realized that my sexual conquest wasn’t so much a conquest as it was a forfeiture of land. Gwen had been dared to let me feel her up a...nd I had been dared to do it. I was no god, more a false prophet. Still, it was amazing fodder for middle-school gossip. By the end of the school day, everyone, including my teachers, knew what had happened. I watched my newfound manhood turn into boyhood humiliation as they told my mom in the parking lot while I waited in the car. Needless to say that was the longest car ride home ever.
A year later I was on a trip to Disney World, on the haunted-house ride, with a new girl. I’d heard boys brag about fingering girls plenty of times but had never really heard the details, how they went about it, the logistics.MoreLess
A year later I was on a trip to Disney World, on the haunted-house ride, with a new girl. I’d heard boys brag about fingering girls plenty of times but had never really heard the details, how they went about it, the logistics.MoreLess
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