Ladies' Man
“I had snagged ninety minutes' sleep, but I didn't even remember getting into bed. I wasn't tired. La Donna's absence made the bed feel as springy as a diving board. I dropped my shorts and stretched. It was a nice, sunny blue day. I did a few toe touches, then my hundred and fifty, all the time fantasizing that La Donna was in bed watching with frustrated desire that rock-hard bitch of a washboard that some people might have confused for my stomach. No doubt about it, I felt energized, but I wa...s pretty sure it was that speedy energy you get from being wired and sleepless. You could move like sixteen French acrobats but the minute you accidentally put your head on an even surface you would be gone for eight hours. I threw an Al Green jam on the stereo and pretended that that was me singing in some get-down club, shoulders hunched, face pinched, hittin' high whining notes and La Donna would be sitting there with some big momo from Duluth front row center. Whenever I broke up with a woman, she turned into a phantom, admiring audience for all my fantasies about myself.MoreLess
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