Kissing Doorknobs (2010)
“I scratched my eczema and waited for my calling to the convent from God. It never came. The only voice I heard in my head was my own, and it usually said: Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.
Spiritually frustrated but energetic, I decided to save as many souls as I could in my own small way. From that moment on, anytime anyone swore or took the Lord’s name in vain, I said a prayer for their soul and punctuated my plea with the sign of the cross.
My family found my new quirk very irritati...ng. Actually, my father tolerated it as another in my series of what he referred to as stages. My mother wasn’t so philosophical. And after a few months of it, she was pretty hostile whenever she saw me do it.
Like the time she kicked the car door shut because she had groceries in both arms and got her skirt stuck in the door. “Son of a bitch already!” she said in frustration. I instantly came to her aid.
“Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name …”
“Cut it out!” she warned in a very sharp voice.MoreLess
Spiritually frustrated but energetic, I decided to save as many souls as I could in my own small way. From that moment on, anytime anyone swore or took the Lord’s name in vain, I said a prayer for their soul and punctuated my plea with the sign of the cross.
My family found my new quirk very irritati...ng. Actually, my father tolerated it as another in my series of what he referred to as stages. My mother wasn’t so philosophical. And after a few months of it, she was pretty hostile whenever she saw me do it.
Like the time she kicked the car door shut because she had groceries in both arms and got her skirt stuck in the door. “Son of a bitch already!” she said in frustration. I instantly came to her aid.
“Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name …”
“Cut it out!” she warned in a very sharp voice.MoreLess
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