King of the Mild Frontier (2003)
“From as long ago as I can remember, “perty girls” just turned me on my head. As early as second grade I would sneak off to my bedroom after school so I could “think about perty girls.” At nine or ten I could ferret out a hidden Playboy magazine—which my father bought because it contained “some of the finest literature published in the country today”—faster than a water witch could zero in on an underground stream. When I opened a current issue to find Stella Stevens buffed out, as they say, onl...y three weeks after I’d seen her mesmerize Li’l Abner in the movie version of the play by the same name, my scalp tingled; my extremities went numb.
Even without Ronny Cooper’s or Hugh Hefner’s help, I was far ahead of my peers when it came to the gathering and distribution of pertinent information that would turn me into the “go-to guy” of middle elementary school and also get me a semipermanent guest seat in the principal’s office. At the beginning of the summer of my tenth year, my father hired me to work cleaning restrooms and dusting shelves and filling the pop and candy machines at his service station, and though it didn’t exactly provide me with the training I might later need to climb some corporate ladder, it placed me within earshot of the sexually brilliant high-school kids who pumped gas and lubed cars and fixed flats for him.MoreLess
Even without Ronny Cooper’s or Hugh Hefner’s help, I was far ahead of my peers when it came to the gathering and distribution of pertinent information that would turn me into the “go-to guy” of middle elementary school and also get me a semipermanent guest seat in the principal’s office. At the beginning of the summer of my tenth year, my father hired me to work cleaning restrooms and dusting shelves and filling the pop and candy machines at his service station, and though it didn’t exactly provide me with the training I might later need to climb some corporate ladder, it placed me within earshot of the sexually brilliant high-school kids who pumped gas and lubed cars and fixed flats for him.MoreLess
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