Keep Me Still
“If she didn’t look so weak and exhausted, I would’ve put up more of a fight. But it was clear, for whatever reason, the only thing she wanted when she finally woke up was for me to get the hell away from her.
I storm out of the hospital in a blind rage. I need to find Brent Becker. Or pray the Colonel’s home and go there and piss him off good. I need to hit. To be hit. To kick and fight and hurt and be hurt. I need the kind of pain that makes sense. The kind the cuts and bruises and breaks bones. Not this fucking internal shit that twists and aches and makes me insane. And helpless. If this night has a theme, it’s ‘Landen O’Brien is a worthless, helpless piece of shit that ruins everything.’ Maybe that’s the theme of my life.
Somehow, through my rage-filled haze, I make it to the party at the Alexis chick’s house hoping Becker’s here. I barely paid attention when they gave me directions at the dance, but it’s not hard to find with the dozens of cars parked out front.
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