If I Die Before I Wake
“It's a wonder I haven't got hoof-and-mouth disease or something else, smoking other people's butts. I push the thought from my mind, draw in the hot smoke, and let it out slowly. I'm going to have to make another butt run again soon. I almost got caught the last time in front of the grocery store. A woman walked up, and I acted like I was putting my cigarette out. I still wonder if she knew.
As much as I hated living in cities, sometimes I yearn for the anonymity of them, for a place where no o...ne knows me, where I don't have to deal with the stares, the whispered comments, the people in the nicer stores watching me like I'm going to steal something. Looking at the small amount of cash in front of me, the realization of how dire my circumstances have become hits me. I've got to get a job. I know I could go back to working in the bars, but I also know I'll drink again if I do. I talked about it in the meeting tonight. The only advice they had for me was to pray about it. Are they insane?MoreLess
As much as I hated living in cities, sometimes I yearn for the anonymity of them, for a place where no o...ne knows me, where I don't have to deal with the stares, the whispered comments, the people in the nicer stores watching me like I'm going to steal something. Looking at the small amount of cash in front of me, the realization of how dire my circumstances have become hits me. I've got to get a job. I know I could go back to working in the bars, but I also know I'll drink again if I do. I talked about it in the meeting tonight. The only advice they had for me was to pray about it. Are they insane?MoreLess
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