How to Write Really Badly
“Half of these goofballs were wandering round offering their last crisp to anyone who looked in the slightest bit peaky, and the rest were all skipping.
No kidding. They were skipping. Two rosy-cheeked milkmaids in pigtails were swinging this great long rope, and everyone else was jumping up and down, all thrilled to bits, waiting their turn.
Then, each time someone rushed in under the rope, everyone burst into song.
I stood on the steps and listened. First I heard: Miss Tate bent down to pick a... rose.
A rose so sweet and tender.
Alas! Alack! She bent too far, And bang! went her suspender.
And then I heard: Mandy Frost was a very good girl; She went to church on Sunday To pray to God to give her strength To kiss the boys on Monday.
I turned to Joe. ‘Is this some kind of special day?’ He trotted out his puzzled look. ‘What do you mean?’ I didn’t quite know how to put it. ‘What I mean is, are you all pretending to be sweet little orphans, or something? Is this some sort of History Day?’ I wasn’t ringing his doorbell, you could tell.MoreLess
No kidding. They were skipping. Two rosy-cheeked milkmaids in pigtails were swinging this great long rope, and everyone else was jumping up and down, all thrilled to bits, waiting their turn.
Then, each time someone rushed in under the rope, everyone burst into song.
I stood on the steps and listened. First I heard: Miss Tate bent down to pick a... rose.
A rose so sweet and tender.
Alas! Alack! She bent too far, And bang! went her suspender.
And then I heard: Mandy Frost was a very good girl; She went to church on Sunday To pray to God to give her strength To kiss the boys on Monday.
I turned to Joe. ‘Is this some kind of special day?’ He trotted out his puzzled look. ‘What do you mean?’ I didn’t quite know how to put it. ‘What I mean is, are you all pretending to be sweet little orphans, or something? Is this some sort of History Day?’ I wasn’t ringing his doorbell, you could tell.MoreLess
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