Hindrance
“Devin.
Loves me.
And I fucked him. I fucked him … again. I stood in the shower for the second time this morning in a daze. Devin’s words circulated through my mind, his touch reverberating throughout my body as I stood stunned. My mind was at war with my heart, and both were in complete upheaval. My heart ripped through the grave, grasping for air as my mind continued to shovel dirt on top of it, both with their own screaming opinions, leaving me eager for silence.
That was Devin: a... perfect storm of everything I did and didn’t want. And I’d given him hope, and found myself hoping as well.
“I’m leaving her.”
Oh, God, if that was the truth, what did that make me? Next?
Even if I didn’t believe Devin was capable of doing the same thing to me, even if I believed his intent, could I respect myself for trying with him? It had never been an option for me before.MoreLess
Loves me.
And I fucked him. I fucked him … again. I stood in the shower for the second time this morning in a daze. Devin’s words circulated through my mind, his touch reverberating throughout my body as I stood stunned. My mind was at war with my heart, and both were in complete upheaval. My heart ripped through the grave, grasping for air as my mind continued to shovel dirt on top of it, both with their own screaming opinions, leaving me eager for silence.
That was Devin: a... perfect storm of everything I did and didn’t want. And I’d given him hope, and found myself hoping as well.
“I’m leaving her.”
Oh, God, if that was the truth, what did that make me? Next?
Even if I didn’t believe Devin was capable of doing the same thing to me, even if I believed his intent, could I respect myself for trying with him? It had never been an option for me before.MoreLess
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