Here With Me
“The smell of Ryley’s perfume is present and comforting. All night I’ve been trying not to think about everything I’ve missed, but sitting at the dinner table with Carole and Jensen acting as if nothing has changed has made me feel split in two. A part of me is grateful that they’re not making a big deal out of it, but the other part wants to scream and yell and have them listen to every damn thing I have to say. Thing is, I know Carole will. She’ll let me pour my heart out, keep it confidential and try to do something. I’m not sure I want her to have that burden.Seeing my son in the flesh for the first time is indescribable. I’ve missed so much, but am thankful to whoever made sure I saw him grow up through photos. When he was standing there holding Ryley’s hand, I wanted to break down and cry. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I wanted to sob like a damn baby because my chest hurt. The pain – it’s nothing like I’ve felt before. It didn’t matter that he was standing in front of me, smiling.
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