Having It All
“Only the thought that the other side of the thin plywood door, Jamie was waiting for her, unsuspecting and happy, kept her from breaking down.
She couldn’t believe how much it hurt – more than walking into that restaurant, more even than splitting up with David. And for the first time she had to admit why. Until five minutes ago, in some deep, unconscious part of her mind, she had believed they would get back together.
Ever since she’d been a child she would sometimes wake and feel unac...countably happy without knowing why. It would take seconds, sometimes minutes of fishing round in her mind and memory until she found the reason: the piece of good news, the promised treat, the compliment, stored away but still powerful enough to make her glow with unexpected pleasure. And leaning on the door of Harrods’ Powder Room, trying not to picture the queue of Christmas shoppers piling up the other side, she saw that it was this belief that David would come back, unfaced, disapproved of even by her conscious mind, that had lain deep inside her, beaming out hope and the promise of happiness regained into her darkest moments.MoreLess
She couldn’t believe how much it hurt – more than walking into that restaurant, more even than splitting up with David. And for the first time she had to admit why. Until five minutes ago, in some deep, unconscious part of her mind, she had believed they would get back together.
Ever since she’d been a child she would sometimes wake and feel unac...countably happy without knowing why. It would take seconds, sometimes minutes of fishing round in her mind and memory until she found the reason: the piece of good news, the promised treat, the compliment, stored away but still powerful enough to make her glow with unexpected pleasure. And leaning on the door of Harrods’ Powder Room, trying not to picture the queue of Christmas shoppers piling up the other side, she saw that it was this belief that David would come back, unfaced, disapproved of even by her conscious mind, that had lain deep inside her, beaming out hope and the promise of happiness regained into her darkest moments.MoreLess
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