Fungus of the Heart
“They never tried to eat me. But their mere presence in a lake or swimming pool or bathtub was always enough to ravage my psyche.
And so, as Rhianna speaks, I see barracuda swimming in and out of her mouth. They taunt me with knowing winks, because I failed in my last barracuda case. But I keep that to myself.
“Did you buy the cranberry sauce?” I say.
“I did,” Rhianna says. “And I bought you the crunchy peanut butter and the barbeque chips.”
“Rhianna. Those were only alternatives, in case they were out of cranberry sauce.”
“I know. But I wanted to make it up to you for calling you Monoxide all those times.”
“I’ve been called worse. And I already told you, I don’t take disbelief personally. You found out your water heater was malfunctioning, so it’s only natural to assume carbon monoxide poisoning.”
“That doesn’t excuse my behavior, Ash.”
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