Fire After Dark
“I’m in agony, for one thing, my back covered in a mass of livid red welts that makes me gasp in horror when I see them in the mirror. I haven’t got any way of anointing my back with lotion, either, so I spend a long time in a cool bath, trying to draw the heat out of my skin.
I am also in a terrible state emotionally, unable to stop weeping at the memory of what Dominic did to me. It feels like an awful betrayal. He asked me to put my faith in him, and I did. He asked me to trust him to know my... limits and I did. I told him that I did not like the dungeon but that is where he took me, to inflict unspeakable agony on me.
And I let him.
That is what hurts too. Dominic may have wielded the whip but I let myself get into that situation. Then I remind myself that it’s Dominic who lost control and took the whole thing to a level beyond my capability. He must have forgotten in the heat of the moment that I’m a novice at this – but it was his responsibility to look after me, and be aware of what I could take.MoreLess
I am also in a terrible state emotionally, unable to stop weeping at the memory of what Dominic did to me. It feels like an awful betrayal. He asked me to put my faith in him, and I did. He asked me to trust him to know my... limits and I did. I told him that I did not like the dungeon but that is where he took me, to inflict unspeakable agony on me.
And I let him.
That is what hurts too. Dominic may have wielded the whip but I let myself get into that situation. Then I remind myself that it’s Dominic who lost control and took the whole thing to a level beyond my capability. He must have forgotten in the heat of the moment that I’m a novice at this – but it was his responsibility to look after me, and be aware of what I could take.MoreLess
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