Femmes Fatal
“I could picture the speaker as clearly as if she had been flashed before me on a screen. A super-efficient mannequin in fashion spectacles, wearing a smile that clipped on like a bow tie, and blessed with more arms than an octopus, capable of juggling a dozen phones at once.I gave up lying, the way people give up cigarettes, when the twins were born, but every so often I weaken and tell a major fib. “Sorry, wrong number,” I mumbled.Instant retribution. The straps of the twin pack were cutting i...nto my flesh and Abbey kicked out a foot, getting me below the belt.“Who were you dialling?”“Uhhhmmm—”“Signing up is the hardest part, dear.”“But I don’t want—”“I quite understand, Mrs.…?”“Haskell.” Bother! Talk about giving the name away! Now I’d be on their mailing list. A pair of pasties would arrive in the mail; Ben would get curious and I’d have to tell him they were eye shades.“Fully Female is very soft-sell, Mrs. Haskell.”“That’s nice.”“If you would be so kind as to spare a few moments to answer our questionnaire, we will send you free of charge our heart-shaped Do Not Disturb sign to hang on the bedroom door when your mother-in-law visits.”An offer no red-blooded Englishwoman could refuse.MoreLess
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