Fake
“As the classic blues song goes, “The fear is gone,” and so is new, fear-laden Gaia.
I don’t know how I feel about it. In a way I’m relieved. I’m free to fight, really fight, and protect people I love. I’d thought fear would give me an edge in battle, but it didn’t. It only gave me one more person to fight–myself.
I also thought fear would make me more normal. It did make things matter that I typically don’t give a damn about. Suddenly I was worried about prom and how I looked and fitting in wit...h the right people–a regular Seventeen subscriber. But did it really help my social life? Hardly. The FOHs never truly became friends (although that doesn’t seem like such a tragedy now), and I only confused and alienated the people who truly matter to me, like Jake and Ed.
But I can’t help wondering if I could have eventually gotten this fear thing down. Maybe it was just too much, too fast. Unlike normal people, who learn to master fear from birth, I got it dumped on me all at once at the ripe old age of seventeen.MoreLess
I don’t know how I feel about it. In a way I’m relieved. I’m free to fight, really fight, and protect people I love. I’d thought fear would give me an edge in battle, but it didn’t. It only gave me one more person to fight–myself.
I also thought fear would make me more normal. It did make things matter that I typically don’t give a damn about. Suddenly I was worried about prom and how I looked and fitting in wit...h the right people–a regular Seventeen subscriber. But did it really help my social life? Hardly. The FOHs never truly became friends (although that doesn’t seem like such a tragedy now), and I only confused and alienated the people who truly matter to me, like Jake and Ed.
But I can’t help wondering if I could have eventually gotten this fear thing down. Maybe it was just too much, too fast. Unlike normal people, who learn to master fear from birth, I got it dumped on me all at once at the ripe old age of seventeen.MoreLess
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