Extreme Elvin
“BARBARA ASKED. “PUTTIES? Elvin, I’m having trouble understanding you.”
I was handling the telephone with even more mastery than usual. Easy boy. Calm. Breathe. Better. Girls like it when a guy can breathe.
“Puppies,” I said, very calm, very breathy. Good, don’t start with the party thing. What kind of animal calls a girl for the first time and invites her to a filthy late-night orgy. That’s like second-date stuff.
Puppies, though. Puppies are another thing entirely. Puppies are the opposite of ...orgies. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?
“Hello,” she said. “Hello, Elvin? Are you still there?”
Guess I was working that out for a while.
“Ya, sorry. Puppies. I wanted to know if... you remember, the puppies I was telling you about, at the dance...”
“Right, the puppies.”
“Ya, the puppies...” I was really cruising now. This was going very well. Much better than I’d expected. You couldn’t even tell, probably, that I’d never done this sort of thing before.MoreLess
I was handling the telephone with even more mastery than usual. Easy boy. Calm. Breathe. Better. Girls like it when a guy can breathe.
“Puppies,” I said, very calm, very breathy. Good, don’t start with the party thing. What kind of animal calls a girl for the first time and invites her to a filthy late-night orgy. That’s like second-date stuff.
Puppies, though. Puppies are another thing entirely. Puppies are the opposite of ...orgies. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?
“Hello,” she said. “Hello, Elvin? Are you still there?”
Guess I was working that out for a while.
“Ya, sorry. Puppies. I wanted to know if... you remember, the puppies I was telling you about, at the dance...”
“Right, the puppies.”
“Ya, the puppies...” I was really cruising now. This was going very well. Much better than I’d expected. You couldn’t even tell, probably, that I’d never done this sort of thing before.MoreLess
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