Escape From Baghdad!
“7: HEAVILY DRUGGED AND DEMENTED “KLONOPIN, ZOLOFT, AMBIEN, OXYCONTIN,” HOFFMAN READ OFF a list. “Tommy, what the hell is this?”
“Prescriptions, admiral,” Tommy said. “For Private Ancelloti.”
“Ancelloti? Our main gunner? Is he trying to get high?” Hoffman asked. “Does he think I’m an idiot? Don’t answer that.”
“No, sir,” Tommy said. “He’s hurting bad, sir. No joke. Last night I woke up to take a piss. Found him chewing on my leg, sir.”
“Gnawing on your leg?” Hoffman puffed on his cigar, incredul...ous. “Is that some kind of gay slang? Are you gay, Tommy?”
“No way, Hoff,” Tommy said. “I like women. You remember that titty bar we went to, and I pulled down that stripper in the black nun’s outfit?”
“Ahem,” Hoffman said. “That was not a titty bar, Tommy. Not by a long shot. How do I know? No titty bars in all of Baghdad. Fact. And that was no nun’s habit either. That was a hijab. And finally, Tommy, that was not a stripper. Not by a long shot, no.”MoreLess
“Prescriptions, admiral,” Tommy said. “For Private Ancelloti.”
“Ancelloti? Our main gunner? Is he trying to get high?” Hoffman asked. “Does he think I’m an idiot? Don’t answer that.”
“No, sir,” Tommy said. “He’s hurting bad, sir. No joke. Last night I woke up to take a piss. Found him chewing on my leg, sir.”
“Gnawing on your leg?” Hoffman puffed on his cigar, incredul...ous. “Is that some kind of gay slang? Are you gay, Tommy?”
“No way, Hoff,” Tommy said. “I like women. You remember that titty bar we went to, and I pulled down that stripper in the black nun’s outfit?”
“Ahem,” Hoffman said. “That was not a titty bar, Tommy. Not by a long shot. How do I know? No titty bars in all of Baghdad. Fact. And that was no nun’s habit either. That was a hijab. And finally, Tommy, that was not a stripper. Not by a long shot, no.”MoreLess
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