“After Nick, Mandy and Monica had been my rocks; they had painstakingly put the shattered bits of me back together into something that resembled a functioning human being. For months after, the only way I could survive was by building a shell over me. That shell had slowly taken on life, little by little, as the months went by, and eventually, I could function again; could even think of boys and sex without pain. But never love. That door was shut to me. I couldn’t help but think that I ...was just a series of Matryoshka dolls. Open up the capable business owner, and there was the girl who had rejected submission and love in favour of survival and self-respect. Open her up, and there was the barely healed welts of Nick O’Malley’s control. And underneath it all, the teenager scarred by acne and cruel, hurtful sneers. When Patrick told me not to masturbate, my agreement had come from a place deep inside me. For many years, I had forced myself to forget the path to that place; I had pretended that the path didn’t exist anymore, that it had been overgrown with the thorns of my self-loathing.MoreLessRead More Read Less
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